Married At School, Single At Home


Thinking about this title, I have been wondering who the focus of this write-up should be – girls or guys or both. 

In almost every tertiary institution in Nigeria, you find undergraduates of the opposite sex living as husbands and wives.

You find a lot of these misguided people in virtually all schools. It is so bad that, often times, they are duly recognised and acknowledged as couples by lodge neighbours, classmates and even leaders of various students associations.

Little wonder there is such an award as “The best couple of the year award” shamelessly and thoughtlessly received by students.

Like I stated earlier, I really do not know the particular gender to address but let me just keep going.

The rate at which girls live with their boyfriends in their various off campus hostels is painfully alarming. Most times, these young girls are very beautiful, with bright and promising future.


They cohabit with boys who are their fellow students as roommates. The most annoying part of it is that the misguided girl would always introduce the boy still dependent on his parents as her fiancé.

Our society is really sick courtesy of those living  in it. These girls collect either hostel fees or house rents from unsuspecting (and sometimes, struggling) parents and end up in the house of a boy.

You struggled possibly for several years to gain admission. Then you suddenly became a prayer warrior posting and shouting ‘Amen’ at the slightest provocation.

You fasted. You had one prayer point filled with promises of your loyalty and devotion to God if only He would answer your prayer.

Now that He has fulfilled His part by answering and granting you admission into the tertiary institution, don’t you think He is expecting you to fulfill your own part, to keep whatever promises you made to Him? 

Many of you just got admitted into school and once you settle down (especially from your second year), crazy thoughts will begin to creep into your minds.

Yes by then, the heat of the rush would have been over; If God didn’t capture you (possibly through the various campus fellowships), boys would have caught you.

In my school we even have an unrecognized, unregistered but well offered course . For the guys it is a course that shouldn’t be carried over. Soon, they would persuade you to move in with them.

Of course, they will give you one thousand reasons to make you give in to their prodding. Before you agree to move in and live with a boy on campus, consider the reason why you are in school in the first place.

What image would you be creating about yourself? Can this boy marry you in case you get pregnant for him as is always the case, or will you resort to series of abortions like many other girls before you?

What advice will you give your children in future concerning this kind of things? After school, what next? Will the relationship really lead you anywhere? 

This write-up is finally addressing the female folk. I did not plan it this way. Maybe it is because they are the worst hit by the grave consequences of illicit sexual relationships.

They are the ones that turn out to be the sore losers in the end. They call it school life but they do not realize how foolish they have been till it is too late.

You are not in school to get married. Part of the reasons why you are in school IS NOT to get the husband-and-wife experience, to see what it feels like for the boy to provide the money for food and for the girl to go to the market for food stuff and cook.

That is pure misplacement of purpose! One guy told me that he was practically learning how to be a caring and romantic husband. Shameless indeed! Then you hear the girl say, “We are not doing anything, we are just roommates”.


Yet she commits countless abortions before graduation. Yes, your admission has given you unlimited freedom. Yes, your parents are not there to tell you what to do or what not to do. 

There are even no blood relatives around, so there is no fear of someone reporting you. But what about giving your womanhood respect and protecting your dignity? 

What about living in such a way as to have a positive story to tell the next generation (including your children) without your conscience pricking you? What Goes Around Will Definitely Come Around….

Why not exercise a moment of thorough thinking?…

– By Bibian Onwuka

ALSO READ  13 Reasons Why Women Are More Attracted To The Bad Guys Than The Good Guys

The Author


I am Maduawuchi, the Editor of Nigerian Infopedia. I am a Biochemist, I love God, I love my family and I love my life. Writing is natural to me that's why I love what I do... Captain, Leader, Motivator, Brother and Friend. Saved by Grace alone.


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  1. Pat

    It’s really very terrible especially on the side of the females. I feel so sorry for them.
    However, “best couple of the year” is really not only meant for couples living together, back in the days, some good Christians actually won that. They didn’t need to live together. Living together is a recent development, due to moral decay and it’s uncalled for.
    For me, dating in college is okay, if you can manage it well with your academics. One you’ve become an adult, two after school the next step is work and family/marriage, so you could meet your spouse on campus, that doesn’t necessarily mean you sleep or live together.
    Yes! you could introduce a dependent, jobless promising hardworking young guy as your fiancé if that’s what the relationship is. That jobless guy is going to be a successful employee or employer of labour tomorrow. He is fiancé, not husband. You’ll take care of all that in your years of courtship, which you can comfortably do without sex if you are godly and principled. Thanks

  2. nk

    This is an unfortunate norm that has come to stay in our tertiary institutions by shameless, misguided and irresponsible children whose parents should be ashamed of. I wonder what such people will end up saying 2 their children leaving home 4 school too in future. Lol

  3. Dedayo

    I know someone who when in school lived with two ladies in his room. They have a roaster for cooking for him ,washing his clothes, and probably beding him. I pray God will have mercy on our girls and their wayward life style.

  4. It’s a pity that many youths are misplacing the very reason why they are in school. Anyway, he who has an ear to hear, let him hear.

  5. Daven Morgan

    My dear, I believe in this wise saying “whatever one sows that he/she will reap” directly or indirectly. Thank God our nation is experiencing change – positive or negative that I don’t know. They will come out and face the reality and by then those that were diligent will definitely succeed while those shameless, misguided and irresponsible best couple will still somehow somewhat become prayer points and you and I see how they fall prey in the hands of smart Nigerian pastors courtesy of school life. Boy, in reality I don’t pity them. Do you know that some of them after graduation can’t write a good application letter, am not talking about defending what they claim they studied in school. Nigerian undergraduates, be guided! I advise young guys, do not marry a girl you don’t know her School history (University) especially Polytechnics.

  6. Flourish

    Nice write up

  7. Ogbedeneto Christian

    It’s amazing to think about and disgrace to accept it . The English adage says that a stick in time saves night , I believe in one thing that even if they so called students refused to hear then a time is coming when they will face their wages and the bible says that the wages of sin is death that’s to say that sins never bring good neither good to bring sins nor they both to work together . Finally soon or next the law of cama will visit them when they feel to settle down if not for marriage , it mighty be for something that related to their life and destiny , so help us God .

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